I have a friend who loves gaming, sometimes writes for us here, and always sends me links to gaming articles to share on Facebook or something for the blog. I appreciate it so much, it really helps me find things to share without having to always know the latest thing, or search far and wide for all aspects of gaming.
She recently sent me this article from 2014 written by Wil Wheaton called Anonymous Trolls Are Destroying Online Games Here's How to Stop Them. Read the article as it is a good one, and I will just summarize what it says to me, and then post my own thoughts from there. Some of the things aren't recent any more, but the points still stand, and anonymous trolls are taking over the entire internet, and we need to stop them.
So basically, Wil talks about how these days internet bullying by anonymous people has gotten really bad, especially in the gaming community. He talks about how when he (and I) was young we had to sit and face other people while we played games so bad behaviour would have received a bad response. You played in arcades or sitting beside each other on the couch, you didn't get to call someone bad names or say hurtful things without saying it to their face. And usually dealing with immediate consequences that were unpleasant. But now with online gaming, you may never have to see the person and receive no real consequence for your actions.
I totally agree with that. I think one of the things he leaves out as a solution though is something we promote a lot over here. Play games with your kids regularly when they young.
Teach them that they can't say stuff like that in person or online. Teach them that there are people behind every avatar, a person with feelings. If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it.
Something that is regularly told my boys, if you don't want Mom or Dad to find out you said it, or it isn't something you would say to us, you shouldn't be saying it.
My middle is very competitive like me, and a bit of a spoiled sport like I can get if I don't watch myself. So he has said somethings in the heat of battle that has been mean. We have stopped and had conversations about it. Oh and nothing puts you in place faster than smack talking someone and being rude, and saying mean things, then having them switch games and totally own you in it.
I sometimes find I don't tell my son that is mean and you shouldn't say it. I just say "Ok I am done playing this game." And I put in one that he doesn't even come close to doing well at, and I am very good at. Then we play. He loses, and loses very badly. And all of a sudden he looks over and says I am not good at this game. And then I can have a conversation about yes, you are correct, but you haven't played it. No one is expecting you to be awesome at it, but you have to be a good sport if you win or lose. Then he will make the connection on his own that what he did was mean to me because I didn't play that other game before.
Oh and another thing he has learned, his Mommy is a bit competitive, so if she is terrible at a game, she will wait until you are gone to school or sleeping and practice, practice, practice. The next time she will not be as bad at it.
I talk to my boys all the time about how it's ok to be competitive, and like to win, and dislike losing. But the only thing you can do, is practice, learn and try to get better, and if you lose remember that while you lost, the other person won and they should be proud of that and happy. So don't ruin their happy moment by making this about you.
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